Mistakes. I am supposed to learn from it but I chose to come back and make the same mistakes again without thinking that I will get crushed - nothing to do with physically but emotionally, not only the heart but also the soul is sore. Immature and bullheaded; the words said. As clear as crystal, we both know what it means. Being the immature or bullheaded, I pretend like I wasn’t paying any attention. If only I can make it sound a little less complicated but that’s impossible and even if it is possible, I’ll make sure it’s not. Admit defeat - that’s a very difficult task for either one of us.

Falling. Falling apart or falling in love? Harsh words continue to travel to my ears as you speak. Slashing my flesh, blood oozing but of course it’s not visible. Inequitable; that word keeps replaying in my head like a recorder - rewind and played repeatedly. Like in a war I’m fighting for what I believe is mine - I am being inequitable? But believing is not something that exists to your mind. Through that dazzling pair of eyes, it’s just immature and bullheaded. Not thinking any deeper, not even for a second to wonder why - I’m guarding what I believe is mine.

Perplexed - not you but me. About how rapidly things change. I need some time to alter. To be a little less like me, and be a little more like you.

Being too credulous, I am your prey. Never once felt like I’m in a state of doubt or uncertainty; I fell into your trap willingly knowing that this is a form of suicidal. Often I hope for the predator to be more humane but mercy to the predator is preposterous.

Capitulate. When I have finally done it, I was taken advantage of. I foresee these things and yet I adore every minute of it. It was senseless of me – foolish! It feels so tormenting but orgasmic at the same time. I feel so valueless. I have been decent. I do not want to be a thing that is only needed for emergencies.

Cut the story short, I am dulled.